Family of 3

   Okay I realize that I am probably the most inconsistent blogger in the history of bloggers and for that I am sorry.  I prefer to write when I have something I want to share and (apparently) that isn't too often... But I am posting now and I am thankful to anyone who still cares enough to read this!
  In my last post I was in college and let me tell you A LOT has happened since then. First things first..I got married. It was wonderful.About five months later we found out we were pregnant! Well I was pregnant... and trust me I was constantly reminded (hello sickness)! Although not exactly planned we were excited for the newest addition to our family! We found out early that we were having a girl! I was ecstatic! At our 20 week ultra sound we also found out that this girl had a two-vessel cord. Now I am no doctor so I am just going to tell you how google explains it.

Two-vessel Cord: Most cords have one vein and two arteries. The vein carries oxygenated blood from the placenta to the baby and the arteriescarry deoxygenated blood from the baby to the placenta. In approximately 1% of pregnancies there are only two vessels —usually one vein and one artery.

  In all my pregnancy books I hadn't stumbled upon this so when the doctor said my baby had it I immediately was worried. The doctor quickly explained that, although it can cause some growth issues with the heart or kidney, our little girl was fine. We would just need to monitor her growth closely to make sure she was getting enough nutrients. The extra ultra-sounds meant we got to see our little girl more so I didn't complain. 
  At 35 weeks I noticed my legs were swelling up and I wasn't feeling too hot... I figured this was just typical pregnancy things I didn't worry too much. I went in for a regular check up and was then sent to the hospital for concern of preeclampsia. After some tests the doctor confirmed that I did in fact have preeclampsia... Which meant they were going to induce labor. I was about to have my baby a month early. They explained to me that since she was going to be early and tiny that she would be taken to the NICU right after birth. This crushed me. My baby was supposed to be with me when she came into this world... We were supposed to be together and bond. Everything that I had envisioned for her birth was being taken from me. I wasn't going into labor naturally, I was having a preemie who was going to be taken from me, and on top of it all I hadn't even gotten around to packing my hospital bags! Overwhelming? YES!
  On April 14th, 2017 at 9:43pm Emory Lynn Hall entered this world perfectly healthy. She weighed a whopping 4lbs 11oz and was the cutest little thing I had ever seen. The doctors decided she had no need for an assistance breathing or any of the scary stuff they had told me she may need. I was so relieved. However, being so tiny and early she didn't quit have the understanding of how to eat. So they had to give her a feeding tube. It's heart wrenching to watch your tiny angel get a tube down her nose and taped to her face. All I could think was "this is my fault". I was the one who forced her out of her warm home where she still needed to grow. I did this to her.
  After child birth your body is like a crazy hormone filled mess. I knew I didn't choose to induce labor and I had no control over the circumstances of her birth but in that hormonal state all I could do is blame myself. We ended up basically moving into the NICU for two weeks. They had nice little rooms for parents called nesting rooms. We spent our days holding Emory when we could or sitting by her and longing for the day we could take her home. After what felt like forever we were finally able to do just that. Ever since then she has been growing like a weed and has now accomplished a chubby face with a little double chin.
  I am beyond blessed. Even through every trial of my pregnancy, labor, and the weeks following God took care of my little girl. I wish I could say I was super strong and never had any fear or worries but I did. I asked God why did so many problems have to happen to me? To my little girl? Instead of blaming Him I started thanking Him. Thankful for a healthy pregnancy. I didn't have a miscarriage and my baby was perfectly healthy (just a little tiny). Thankful for no complications in childbirth. Thankful that Emory didn't have any severe issues or require any of the breathing tubes they thought she might. Thankful she hasn't stopped growing since the moment we left the hospital. Thankful that through it all He has always been there giving me the strength I needed to concern any trial that I faced. 
   Although I catch myself fearing a future pregnancy on occasion I trust that God has a plan for me and my family and no matter what that may be I will trust that it is His perfect will for me.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

College.

"The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet" - Aristotle

         I was one of the many crazed freshman to arrive on the campus of Bob Jones University on August 28th. The atmosphere was what I had always hoped it would be. Parents hovered over their kids and kids looked to their parents for their final looks of approval.I, however, wasn't one of these kids. I took one look around and my head screamed,” FREEDOM!". I didn't realize how much home-schooled Sierra was going to change to become college freshman Sierra. While you may gain freedom as you enter into this new world of college you're also met with a wall of responsibilities.

      "What am I doing here?" I thought as I attempted to study for my upcoming English test. College was weird. They don't really teach you they just tell you what you should do, not how to do it. The one word that I have become best friends with since that Friday is, confused.  Keeping track of rules, classes, and my social life was no easy task. I felt I needed to start a reminder just so I would do laundry! I mean come on, it's laundry, what was happening to me. I have heard it said that when we feel we can't do it anymore is when we realize we never could. Sierra Sterling can't do it.

        I can't do it alone. I need help that can only be found from one place, from God. Now don't freak out and throw you laptop across the room because here is another sob story of a girl who trusted in God and magically her life became awesome! This story isn't like that. Just because I believe that I can do anything with the strength of God, doesn't always mean I succeed. Yes, you read that right. My life is still that disaster and confusion that you believe it would be. It doesn’t, however, mean that I feel like a disaster anymore. I was doing it. I was studying, learning, and ultimately trying. I was putting all my effort into this school work and social world that surrounded me. The result, however they may be, I could live with. The word happiness was once again my best friend and confusion was forgotten.

     Now let me end on a good note or perhaps just a slightly funny one. I get to do my laundry for free. So if that doesn't make you feel blessed then I don't know what will! Thanks for giving me some of your time and hopefully this was enjoyable and maybe encouraging to you! If you have any prayer requests or questions for me I can be contacted at basicblonde101@gmail.com! Thank you all for staying faithful to my blog posts even in times when I am not!

Positively Happy

   Hello again! May I just start with saying, sorry, I do believe I am the worst blogger in history! I never know when I will find the time to write and trust me I wish it was more often! None the less, here I am using the time I did find to finally post! So I do hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it!

   Recently I have been thinking and talking about the same topic. Being positive. Now I know you could expect to see "think positive" on a cat poster or perhaps a banner in your math class. How often do we actually stop and think about what it is to think positive? One definition I found for positive was, "something that is good or useful". So let's just say for a moment when you are told to think positive you are being told to think good and perhaps usefully. So when you don't find that adorable polka dotted shirt in your size or your favorite basketball teams looses the big game, you think of good. 

    Now I know it really isn't that simple. Things happen and it's not our first instinct to put a smile on when our dreams or hopes get crushed. But it is an important tool I've come to realize can help in many situations. Let's take this broad topic of positivity into a specific area, relationships. Relationships are not always perfect, no matter how much we might not like it, that's the truth. So what do you do when the going gets tough? Some may simply quit, some may want a break, and others might not even know what to do! May I just say really quick that I'm not specifically speaking of a couple here. We all have many different relationships in our lives and this applies to all of them.  So when your Mom is being extremely unreasonable or your boyfriend is working a lot and you can't see him as much, what are you gonna do? THINK POSITIVE! 

   Put that smile that everyone loves so much on your face and fill your mind with those good and useful thoughts! You can't wreck a relationship when you focus on the other persons positive attributes or characteristics. In fact, you can only grow! So yes, the going is gonna get rough and tough. But when we focus on the positives, those good and useful thoughts, we might just find ourselves in closer and stronger relationships in the end. That's what I hope happens to every single person reading this, that you might gain a positive spirit and perhaps even leave with a smile on your face!  

   " I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace for I am Yours and You are mine." - Oceans by Hillsong United.


  Ever felt so sad that you believed you would never be happy again? That was me. I didn't just wake up one day and find myself this way. It slowly grew without me noticing. I was happy wasn't I? I kept convincing myself that if I could keep smiling then I could manage. But you can't hide from the truth for very long. When I finally couldn't hide my sadness anymore, it became the only thing I could focus on. I felt myself going down into a dark pit and I didn't feel strong enough to climb out... and I didn't want to.
  The storms of life were happening all around me and I was drowning in an ocean of sadness. " I can get my life together", I thought, " I don't need anyone to help me or give me advice." People told me what I already knew... Go to God. But I didn't want to. I wanted Sierra to be in charge of her own life and her own destiny. My sadness grew and so did the stubbornness in my heart.
  I stopped caring and I stopped making wise decisions. It was ME time. Maybe if I did everything Sierra wanted to do then I would be happy again. People who I thought cared about me left me when I  had needed them. I was angry and hurt. Why should I care anymore? To love is to be vulnerable. I didn't want to be hurt anymore. So I stopped caring. My life was falling apart. I knew I should get it together, but I was holding myself back.
  It was a Sunday night and I hit the bottom. I couldn't live like this anymore. Living for me had gotten me into trouble and that's when I realized I had a problem. I want to help build people up and bring them closer to Christ, but I had been pulling people down with me. That wasn't going to be me anymore. I let go of the sadness. The pain other people had caused me became bearable. The anger I had toward others had vanished. I didn't need to rely on others. God was always there for me and that's all I need.
  So after a good cry while listening to "Oceans" I felt once again happy. I was there when people needed me and God is always there when I need Him. So even though I shed a couple tears while typing this I hope you are left with a smile. There is hope.  I felt hopeless and alone, but I made it through and so can you.


  "Your grace abounds in deepest waters, Your sovereign hand will be my guide. Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You've never failed and You won't start now. "' - Oceans by Hillsong United


  
 

Hello!

Hello! If you're reading this you are awesome. ( now that you've been complemented please continue reading )

   I have had this desire to create a blog for a while now and wasn't sure how to or what I would even post. I was flooded with doubts. What if no one reads it? What if I post super annoying stuff? What's the point? I let these doubts keep me from doing something I really wanted to do. But not today. So here I am, sitting on my couch, listening to Christmas music, and typing up what I hope to be the first post of a successful blog. But, regardless of the outcome I am glad I put my doubts aside and did it. 

  I find that I often let my doubts get in the way. Perhaps you are perfect and never doubt yourself at all ( if so you can stop reading now, because I'm full of imperfections and I'm not afraid to admit it) But I am gonna bet most of you are still reading this. Because no matter how much we hate to admit it, none of us are perfect. 

     Tomorrow I am going to be taking my ACT. Let me just say one thing.... STRESS! I know you're probably familiar with this feeling. When I'm not studying I am thinking of when I can study more. I find myself doubting my ability to study or  my test taking skills. What if I get a bad score? What if I get lost when going to the testing center? Will I ever get into college? All these doubts hang over my head throughout my day. Before I break down and resort to eating 10 cookies while crying, I pray. Now I know the cookie method sounds like a solid plan to make me feel better ( I will admit sometimes it is needed). But their is nothing like stopping and praying. Ever since I was young I would imagine all my stress was put in a box and Jesus would come pick it up and take it away. Their is so much such comfort knowing He was gonna take care of me. 

    Once I finish my cry for help ( also called prayer) I feel great. The things that were stressing me out are still there. But I find strength and peace from God.  So next time you're about to dive into your comfort method ( for me it's the cookies) I recommend praying first. It might not work the first time. Maybe not even the second. But I can promise you it'll work. So don't give up! If I can overcome my stress then so can you! Hopefully you've enjoyed this post and I look forward to the next time I can sit down and pour out my heart to you. Thank you for reading!